Saturday, June 19, 2010

The Line - Lightning-Struck Toads

Movie: X-Men
Character: Storm
Line: "Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? Same thing that happens to everything else."

"Don't you people ever die?" That's a good, solid villain cliche. But poor, dumb Toad decides to walk towards the woman who can control wind while lightning bolts shoot out of her body. What was he thinking? "Wait. I've got a long tongue and I can jump really far. I've got this." Eventually the fight winds up outside, Toad uses his tongue as a grappling hook so he doesn't fall to his death, and Storm does her best cardboard cutout impersonation and says... The Line.

Two things wrong with this: (1) Since when did X-Men not named Wolverine start trying to kill people? (2) The question is set up like it's the beginning of a joke. It never seemed like a good joke. What would be a satisfying response? This is a superhero movie -- maybe a toad struck by lightning becomes a thunder god or some shit. Now, X-Men probably isn't a good film to begin with -- Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen make it good, and the first sequel is without a doubt Good. (Still trying to erase X-Men 3 from my memory.) But man was it a rocky start with scenes like this. -- Mike

Fail-O-Meter: 4/5 Deep-Fried Frog Legs

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